Part of me wants to start using tumblr again. Not sure why. It’s not like it’s going to help me keep track of my life anymore than anything else has. Btw, this is Mark. I think Betsy has left this blog for good. I think maybe she left a link before leaving? I’ll look.
I’m hungry. And I’m still thinking about a damn fantastic meal I had at Black Cat Burrito in Boone, NC yesterday. It was the most incredibly delicious thing I’d had since…. well, the day before, when I ate a falafel burger at The Root in Burlington, NC, where my roommate used to work. But before those two meals, it’d been a long time since I’d eaten anything so deeply delicious. Then today I went to Olive Garden and ate some amazing spicy shrimp, along with salad and breadsticks of course. Then I watched Spider and then played tennis with Joe. He’s so awful at it, but it was fun anyway.
This year is the beginning of finally getting over my past and start looking in the future. 2011 just SUCKED. No doubt about that. The only good part that came from that year was December and it was me coming home for break.(plus meeting someone special) As this break comes to a close, I’m trying to stay grounded and remind myself that I am indeed leaving home and going back to school.
The most important fact is that I do not regret one thing that I’ve done this year.
This is just a pointless blog that doesn’t need to be read. Just putting my thoughts out there without revealing much.
Guess it’s sort of worth mentioning now that I don’t want much else to do with the guy I was talking about in my last post here. We spent a lot of time together, even after we broke up, but he doesn’t especially have much respect for me (probably not much for himself either) so I’m going to slowly stop talking to him. Well, more like continue to do so. I guess if you were just reading this blog casually you’d think this was a huge jump from one event to the next but a lot of time has passed since I last wrote that. Funny how perceptions change… it’s been forever since then.
I think the first night of my break, I managed to successfully get this guy I’d been trying to talk to on Skype. We ended up talking from about 8 to 3am! and the thing is, we’ve been talking until 3 am almost every night since. We like each other a lot already and unless something really weird happens between now and Jan. 9, we’ll meet. Things are going so well I can only predict we’ll be boyfriends soon. :D He’s waaaaay cute. Much cuter than last guy. He’s not even my type, but maybe it was good for me to not be so dependent on getting a dark haired scruffy man… last one didn’t work out so well, after all. (I’m not especially tore up about the last guy, by the way. Not even a little bit. I feel better the less I have to do with him. He’s not all bad, but the bad does outweigh the good quite a lot.) This new guy (Joe- funny, the last one was ‘Jon’) seems to care about me as much as I do about him, which is something I totally didn’t get from Jon.
I think I have a boyfriend now. [It’s not the same guy that I went to the movie with— that guy stopped responding to my texts after a while, which I’m cool with since I got to meet my new guy. I wasn’t too disappointed (nor am I angry at him) when it became apparent he was ignoring me, I have thankfully learned not to get my expectations too high in the first place.] This guy is my type, my height, cute, scruffy, very smart, and we share the same taste in a surprising number of things. He’s really easy to talk to and terribly sexy/cuddly.
I got so drunk last night I was crawling on the floor! It’s incredible what 2 drinks can do, really. (Of vodka, that is, not bottled beer.) Can’t say I’ve ever gotten drunk before. I’ve gotten tipsy, but DAMN. It was actually pretty awesome, and the party was with about a dozen gay guys (+1 straight guy and several straight women). Obviously we had the sense not to drive afterward, I spent the night there and just got back now (9:30 am).
Jealous about Explosions in the Sky concert. I keep missing good Raleigh concerts because I’m too disorganized/cheap.
Things here are pretty awesome though. Went on a date with this really adorable guy and it was soooo different from the last date I went on. Things were just so natural with this guy, there weren’t awkward pauses every 2 seconds. In fact there were none. We watched a movie, Drive, then he watched me eat crunchy tacos and even that wasn’t awkward. He texted me later and told me he looked forward to seeing me again. I told him I totally agreed. He has such a cute beardy face.
while riding through puddles that splash water and dirt up onto my clothes and messenger bag
through sections of town which are normally lit, but for some reason are entirely dark tonight
I mean, it wasn’t that bad. But it’s odd how all those things combined, and could have conspired to make things awful, had they wanted to. Thank god I recently tightened my brakes. I have to admit, this is the first time I’ve ever biked in the rain. I’ve always avoided it before, but I couldn’t tonight. I mean, I had a helmet anyway. I guess I’m afraid of slipping on something. Years ago I did that on my bike, over a leaf no less and in my own driveway, and I completely wore the skin off my nose as my face skidded across the concrete. I looked hideous for weeks with a raw, encrusted scab in the middle of my face. Mom wouldn’t let me cover it with a band-aid either, and I went to school like that. So you can see why I’m a tad apprehensive.
Don’t you hate it when you go on a date with your ideal man and immediately afterward you find an email from him saying you’re not what he’s looking for after all? I know I do. This happened Monday night, and it’s Thursday now, so I’m over it, but it really hurt for a few days. I had this huge heavy ache in my chest for awhile. When I first read that email, it felt like somebody had punched me in the gut. I literally lost my balance and felt nauseated. Fortunately I’ve moved past the point where he’s all I can think about, and I’ve stopped really caring what exactly makes me “not his type” even though we had a fantastic 8-hour long chat Sunday night and even saw each other on camera. The date was even his idea! We even went to the same high school, which isn’t easy to get into. Plus he was 6’3” and cute.
My happiness seems directly correlated to the number of things I perceive myself to have accomplished. As a result, summer is among the least happy times of the year for me. I can’t say whether I am happy because I am distracted from larger questions when I am busy, or whether the feeling of accomplishment itself is the cause of happiness.
As I always am this time of summer, I want it to go on longer so that I have more time to finish everything, but at the same time I am tired of summer and feel like I couldn’t finish anything satisfactorily even given infinite time.
I have been working on college preparations of all sorts lately, which is quite tiring.